Charms - Budweiser Bottlecap

Circa 2001

I hate beer.

I've only had a full beer two or three times in my life. I'm not sure I'll ever understand why people drink beer, but I'm in no position to judge dubious choices.

The first time I finished a beer, I was at my ex's new partner's house. We had broken up just a few months prior. Laurie was thirty two and polyamorous with her twenty eight year old husband David, my ex was twenty four. I was seventeen, just starting my senior year, and still completely heartbroken. My ex wanted to remain friends, so he invited me to hang out with his partner and their household. I reluctantly agreed, anxious for a chance to spend time with him despite the obvious awkwardness.

When I arrived, David introduced himself and offered me a beer. He made eye contact with me and smiled. There was something behind that smile that I didn't understand. Reason took an exit, and I stumbled for a response. "No thank you, I hate beer". I winced, knowing I must have sounded rude. He laughed. "I'll make you a deal. Drink a beer with me and I'll bring you a glass of wine".

He opened the bottle and handed it to me. I took it from him gingerly and followed him to Laurie's office. The room was filled with silks and fairy lights, bookshelves crowded with odds and ends. Laurie sat at her desk while David lounged on the couch. I sat on the floor across the room from my ex and took a drink, fighting off the urge to let my mind disappear inside itself. The beer was awful, and after a few minutes of sipping at it, I finally knocked the bottle back. I coughed as the last of it tried to bubble back up, and the room laughed. I blushed and slipped the bottle cap into my pocket. David took the empty and handed me a glass of wine, I eagerly drank half before settling back down. Laurie was telling stories of her glory days as a roadie, trading blowjobs to security guards for back stage access to Marilyn Manson and Rammstein. I wondered if any of it was true as I took another drink from my full glass. I thought I had already finished half, but I was clearly mistaken.

The night went on with more stories. Laurie boasted about her time as a burlesque dancer. She made claims like being related to Madonna and performing with Jenna Jameson. I sipped at my wine as she went on, contributing nothing. Somehow, my glass was full again. I must have refilled it without thinking. I kept listening.

Eventually, I began to look around the room instead of staring at Laurie. The auras around the fairy lights reflected in the bottle David was pouring into my glass. He smiled his impossible smile and handed it to me. I assumed he was being hospitable, and thanked him. I took a drink and placed the glass on the coffee table in front of us. As I leaned back, he took my hand. He stood up from the couch and pulled me to my feet. I stumbled, head spinning from the change in equilibrium. The walls shook, the fairy lights shuddered, and I swayed as my vision took a moment to clear. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bottle again. The wine was almost gone.

David handed me my glass, then led me out of the office and towards the stairs to the second floor. I shuffled my feet across the tile, trying to keep my balance as my head spun. We had reached the landing before I realized I was leaning on him. As he led me into his bedroom I finished my wine, still trying to comprehend what was happening. I slipped my hand into my pocket and found the bottle cap, gripping it tight. I looked behind me, David smiled, and my heart dropped. He slipped the door closed, and quietly locked it behind him.

"Charms" was my first writing project, written from December 2023 to February 2024.

They are a collection of memories attached to found or given objects that I've collected for over 25 years.

The stories are posted to Substack in their raw, unedited form.

Most are only a few hundred words.

The project remains incomplete.