i love you

"our integrity sells for so little"

i was musing in the kitchen over how nice it would be to have someone dancing next to me.

sticky and greasy three quarters through a one pan meal, singing 90s rock, smelling like garlic and lemon and the kind of sweat you only get when there's two kinds of heat trapped between a rock and soft place.

I thought about the nature of sex and how little I care about who's having it unless it's me, unless i'm reading something scintillating, unless it’s written in the smile lines of someone who just walked in the door from getting knocked sideways for the weekend and still came home to me.

and I think maybe that's what all of us want in the end?

whether we're monogamous or poly or ambiamorous or nonmono or asexual or desperately alone don't we all just want someone who we could come home to?

even if we're very far away or live apart by design.

even if sex never enters the equation

just knowing they're out there.

knowing they would stay.

isn’t that the best any of us could hope for?

i promise i love you.

i promise i stayed.

♤

- Image quote from V for Vendetta (2005)