Retiring Posts!

swedish death cleaning

update: got a request for more time, teardown moved to Friday night 5/6.

you’re the best.

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I am R E B R A N D I N G

“Why?”

SOOO many reasons, most of which will not be discussed at this time.

For now it’s because the name “Zani D” doesn’t mean the same thing to me anymore, but it’s the name everyone knows me by. Since I didn’t give it to myself and I have big feelings about the origin, I’ll keeping it, but with a few slight alterations.¹

My @ will change to “ZaniD” so folks can still tag without having to change their habits, but my profile name will be…

Inzani D’Arpeggio

“…Why??”

because!

• it’s ridiculous and fancy which seems fitting for the current state of literature.

• “Zani Darp” remains an acceptable abbreviation, keeping a book honest, which is probably certain to canonize me if i don’t get a liver

• i am in fact experiencing slow rolling biological loss of sanity so the word play is in fact factual, factually.

• I have a lifelong fondness for arpeggios.²

also, the Ducks never talk over each other, it’s always one qak at a time.

(..hopefully that was slightly amusing to those of you who know what an arpeggio is)

SO! 
   so
      so
        so.

The rebranding starts with swedish death cleaning, and the 14 posts that follow are going in the unpublish bin.

“When?”

Your guess is as good as mine but it’s safe to assume I won’t remember I wrote this until Wednesday, so let’s call it Wednesday evening.

At that time Testing the Waters at the Beginning of the End will start moving posts behind a paywall, I can’t promise I’m gonna announce those, but I’ll keep the previous updates free and pin them.

(also not to be some kinda way but odds are good you aren’t subscribed to it yet)

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Announcing the retirees!

Awareness: Minds, Brains, and the Problem with Therapy

This Kitten Sucks, I Want A Refund: A Minds and Brains Interlude

Recalculating: Minds, Brains, and the Problem with Therapy

• failed experiment, still a little frustrated with myself because I knew better: don’t tell people (especially writers) what to do without an established audience, and never ever EVER use second present for essays about brain work. no one wants to be talked at.

  but I will give myself this much: despite the steady decrease in reacts and shares, the open and view rates never went down. I’ll approach the material again when I can figure out how to convince an audience to do the goddamn exercises (overheard via my father’s listening habits, on three mental health podcasts over the past month: “for some reason it’s hard to get people to do mental exercises” revelatory, end me now pls)

Is Semen Retention Right for You?

• this was nothing more than a shameless promotional run for the Daddy Issues Tour, and I’m damn proud of the drive-by engagement it solicited, but there’s one problem.

  don’t laugh or you’ll feel bad, wait til the end, because this essay has been taken seriously at least twice by a few random individuals brought here by the algorithm. and it hit me, rather hard actually, that colonization interrupted organic intellectual growth in certain parts of the world that only now have immediate access to philosophical work like Nietzsche, who is largely responsible for dissemination of the concept (sorry couldn’t help myself).

  If semen retention is how some men cope with the ravages of a disrupted culture, I won’t be the one to shame them for it.

Lucky 27

• shroom trip, summer, too many memories, too personal for Entropic Absurdity, might republish in Testing the Waters.

Oracle In Training

• (edit: sorry, um, content note, this one is rough.) it exists elsewhere in pieces and it was never written with the intent of publishing. too personal for Entropic Absurdity. don’t regret my choices but this version needs to be done now.

The Price of Being Alive

• too personal for EA, dismantling and scavenging for parts.

Writer’s Dilemma

• too personal, no longer relevant.

the collar

• too personal for EA, might get republished in TtW

Last Day of School

• definitely too personal for EA, might get republished in TtW.

Community Care

• too personal blah blah EA, TtW

Gender Gerrymander

Red Herring in the Bathroom

SANCTITY OF LIFE IS COLONIALISM

• Kicking these three because I am trying very hard not to be aggressively political on Substack. There have been and will continue to be exceptions, I still interact with some politics in notes, but the cost/benefit ratio for posts doesn’t add up in my case. high blood pressure is one of the symptoms that will kill me faster, my energy is better spent on the local level where I can make an immediate impact.

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with any luck this means an INDEX is coming soon!

holy shit i’m getting organized!

this isn’t terrifying at all!

subscribe for more!

best pitch ever!

• also someone may have put “Darp” instead of “Derp” in their now published book, effectively renaming me, which from my perspective is objectively hilarious.

1.

2

• Bach’s poltergeist demanded that be a proper sentence so i fixed it. i’m not fixing the rest tho, editing is for fiction.