Nationalist Joy Hyperobject

Jared?

c'mon, wake up.

Jared!

dammit. you lazy fuck.

JARED.

Get yer fuckin feet off my gotdamn coffee table. That's fuckin pine.

And open yer damn eyes.

I need to dictate.

No shit that means you need yer fuckin notebook so get the fuck up and fuckin get it.

What? 

I din't fuckin yell at you, I shouted cuz you fuckin hibernate like a drunk December bear.

No I ain't got no fuckin pencil. You took my last pencil. I ain't got a single fuckin pencil left in this gotdamn house. 

And you took my fuckin pen from that hotel in Spokane, shit was a Bic and everything, here you gone and chewed the cap all to hell.

No that was fuckin Chattanooga, you heard that libertarian wackjob talkin bout telemeres and you knicked a pen from the front desk to get his Instagram. That was yer pen. Spokane that cunt lookin like fifty miles of bad road left her room number on a fuckin coaster, member, attached to that there pen. 

Took the fuckin pen, left the fuckin number! HAH!

That's funny shithead, laugh.

What?

Nah. The fuck you did.

You tellin me YOU went to her fuckin room?

That why you were sweatin like a whore in church for two weeks? Serves you fuckin right catchin a venerable disease.

Venereal disease, that's what I fuckin said.

Shut the fuck up and get the gotdamn pencil.

And who the fuck transcripts with a piddly ass pencil anyway? You ain't got time for correction when I'm speechifying or y'ain't payin no gotdamn attention to my next conflagration. 

So where the fuck is your pencil? 

I know I said you shoulda got a fuckin pen but you ain't holdin a fuckin pen in yer pocket yer holdin a gotdamn pencil. 

You just the sharpest knife in the fuckin drawer ain't you. 

Ready?

Oh my good holy lord how long you gotta take to find a blank page. 

Slower’n an ass in molasses.

Ain't you dog-earing when you done left off? 

The fuck you been writing in my shit anyway?

I do not talk that much you just shut the fuck up before I take you to church. 

Fer fuck sake.

hmmMMM. 

Brothers and Sisters, I stand here before you on the dawn- 

Why the fuck ain't you writin.

I did too say I fuckin started, get yer head out yer ass and pay the fuck attention. 

Brothers and Sisters, I stand here before you on the dawn of a new Era. The indignities we have suffered at the hands of transients and interlopers-

You gotta be fuckin kiddin me.

I can't fuckin tell you what fuckin indignities if yer askin over me about which fuckin indignities, now can I? 

Patient like a fuckin pig.

The indignities we have suffered at the hands of interlopers and transients will not go unpunished. They will call us nationalists, they will call us-

Fuckin christ Jared I said I'd get to the gotdamn indignities din't I? 

Knock it the fuck off.

Yer breakin my consternation.

They will call us nationalists, they will call us traitors. But where is the crime in being a patriot? Who are the real traitors? They overrun our borders, steal our jobs, defile our women-

isweartogodyousonofa

OF COURSE YOU AND I AIN'T GOT NO JOB AND NO WIFE AIN'T YOU PAYIN NO GOTDAMN ATTENTION I JUST SAID THEY GOT STOLED.

I wasn't yellin you fuckin pussy.

Jesus christ suck it up.

And if you ain't here to wear an eyepatch the rest of yer godforsaken life you best stop interjecting cuz I'm bout to put that pencil right through yer corona. 

I fuckin saw that, try side eyein me when you only got one eye.

Then I'd just stand on the patch side smartass. 

Shut the fuck up. 

Where was I. 

Yes tell me where I let off.

Then shut the fuck up.

They overrun our jobs, steal our borders, defile our women and betray our good will. But on this, the dawn of our Era, all will hear the jubilation of our joy, the infinite of our inspiration, the hyperobject of our hope-

What?

What is what?

Oh. Uh. It's a concept that's beyond yer understanding. 

-the hyperobject of our hope will be witnessed by all who-

The fuck is that look for? 

What crawled up your rectum and had a shit fit?

I did not call you stupid.

When the fuck did I call you stupid.

A HYPEROBJECT IS LITERALLY A FUCKIN CONCEPT THAT IS BEYOND HUMAN FUCKIN COMPREHENSION THAT FUCKIN OVERWHELMS SPACE AND TIME LIKE ALL THE FUCKIN CIGARETTE BUTTS IN EXISTENCE OR THE NUMBER OF FUCKIN TIMES YOU FUCKIN INTERRUPTED ME. 

Aw fuckin hell Jared don't be like that.

I ain't gonna coddle a grown ass man who can't keep his fuckin feet off my reflectory table.

Jesus mary joseph.

Would you grow a gotdamn spine? I ain't yellin. 

No I ain't angry. I'm just mad.

Put the gotdamn pencil away, I ain't got the momento anymore. 

We'll pick it up after supper and-

WHADYA MEAN YOU LOST THE MOTHER FUCKIN PENCIL 

♤

This exceedingly annoying prompt brought to you by https://www.substack.com/@emilxottoman courtesy Stream of Consciousness POV Workshop